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Introducing...

Dr. Laura Wendlandt

Hello. My name is Dr. Laura Wendlandt. I am the Director of Clinical Services here at Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch (YBGR). I am also a Psychologist. Some of you may know me as “Dr. Laura” (no, not the radio personality) while some know me as “Dr. W”. I have been asked to help with the mental health portion of our website. Pretty cool site isn’t it! Then again, I am obviously biased.

I am very excited about this venture. I have the rare opportunity to pour into lots of kids by many different avenues. This site being one of them. There are many options for how to develop this portion of the YBGR site. Should it be directed at kids? Parents? Families? Should it be topical or free flowing? What about a question and answer format? I could field questions from kids, families of those inquiring about our services. Wow! The possibilities are endless.

How about I start with a question and then provide some thoughts about it. Since this is a psychiatric residential treatment facility (PRTF), we deal with a full range of emotions. I often hear the kids talking about their feelings and how they are working on controlling or managing them. My question is: How do we do control or manage our emotions?

First off, we label our emotions and feelings. For example: happy, sad, love, anger, frustration, hatred, depression, guilt, fear, disappointment, despair, hopelessness, helplessness, and so on. When I say (or write as the case may be) these ‘feeling words’, you as the reader have an idea of what I am meaning. You will most likely understand these ‘feelings’ based on your own experiences. (There is a lot we could go into here but I will save that for another article!)

God gave us emotions. If we didn’t have emotions, we would be automatons and emotionless. Star Trek comes to mind here with Mr. Spock and his ‘illogical’ comment. The truth is that humans feel. The tricky part is that we need some of Mr. Spock’s logical traits to help make wise decisions and choices because emotions are very powerful and real! The problem comes when emotions guide our decision making. And as we know, this is not always a good thing. As a matter of fact, it may be this very thing that leads a youth to need a facility like YBGR. (This is like going to the grocery store when you are hungry. Do you really make the wisest food choices when you are driven by hunger pangs??)

We CAN control our emotions instead of allowing them to control us. The way to control our emotions is to control our minds, thinking about a situation by adding in a bit of logic. So, I suggest the following steps in beginning to learn how to begin managing/controlling emotions.

1. Feel
2. Identify the emotion (name the feeling)
3. Identify and explain the context and precursors to the feeling
4. Review thoughts and what decision(s) are being made as a result of the ‘feeling’ (review your heart)
5. Add logic (prayer, wise counsel, reading the Word, think through consequences)
6. Rethink and then make a wise choice

For the Christian, the Spirit of God who resides within us is capable of controlling our emotions and not allowing them to control us (Romans 8:9-11). Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that He directs, guides, comforts, and influences us, as well as producing in us the fruit of the Spirit . The benefits of His presence in our hearts is “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Emotions, therefore, are indications of what is in our hearts (Luke 6:45) since it is out of the overflow or our heart the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34).

It is important that we renew and refresh our heart and mind by the daily input of positive, affirming messages. For Christians, this is through scriptural principles and meditation on His attributes. We can assist in this emotional journey by teaching, practicing, and living life with your child to help him or her take their thoughts captive and learn how to make wise choices!

What is the next step? Forgiveness. Stay tuned...