Inspirations
“To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it.” ~ Mother Teresa
Virtue of the Week: Caring
Paula Ekle, LCPC - Clinical Director of Community Based Services
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." ~ Unknown
According to the American Psychological Association, researchers used to believe that a sense of real caring about others came as people grow into adulthood, but studies are finding that children can show signs of empathy and concern from a very early age. Once again, the role parents play in developing that sense of caring cannot be overemphasized. Some tips:
Let Them Know How You Feel
Children are looking for acceptance and approval. Let your children know how deeply you feel about their behavior toward others. Be frank, honest and upfront with your kids about what kind of behavior you do and don't like. Keep your focus on the act, not the child, e.g., "What you did is not very nice" rather than "You are not nice."
Role Modeling
According to a study by psychologists E. Gil Clary, Ph.D. and Jude Miller, Ph.D., there are two kinds of parental role modeling that help teach children to be caring: kindness to others and kindness to the child. Keep in mind that if you say one thing and do another, your children will pay a lot more attention to what you do. The old warning "Do as I say, not as I do" simply does not work, particularly when it comes to teaching about caring.
Try to surround your children with other people who are kind and caring, so they have several role models.
You and Your Child
If you treat your children with respect for their dignity, with concern and with regard for their achievements you help them understand that all living creatures should be treated with dignity and concern. One part of this is to reward your children for acts of kindness with praise and recognition, e.g., "I saw you take care of the boy who fell on the playground. That was very kind of you and it makes me feel proud."
Effects of the Outside World
To help counteract negative outside influences, give children books that promote compassionate behavior, and encourage them to watch shows that promote ideas about caring and helping.
"Those who care get care back. They learn that other people care for them." ~ Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch youth, age 12.
